(1) Introduction

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first command-ment with a promise, “That it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

The phrase "in the Lord" indicates obedience to the parents by being one with the Lord. It also indicates that this should be done not by self-effort, but by the Lord, and not according to the natural concept, but according to the Lord's word.

The promise, mentioned in verse 3, is that it may be well with the children and that they may live long on the earth. According to this commandment, prosperity and longevity are God's blessings in this life to those who honor their parents.

Honoring is different from obeying. Obedience refers to an action, whereas honor denotes an attitude. It is possible for the children to obey their parents without honoring them. In order to honor their parents, the children need a certain attitude, a certain spirit. All the children need to learn to obey their parents with honor.

If we would live long on the earth, we need to honor our parents. Those who fail to honor their parents actually shorten their life on earth. If you wish to prolong your days, learn to obey your parents with honor. In the Bible this is the unique condition for having a long life. Anyone who desires a long life needs to fulfill this condition. (Life-Study of Ephesians, Message #62) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

作兒女的，要在主裡順從你們的父母，因為這是正當的。要孝敬父母，使你亨通，在世長壽。」這是第一條帶應許的誡命。(以弗所書6:1-3)

『在主裡』，指明順從父母乃是藉著與主成為一；也指明是憑著主，不憑自己；是照著主的話，不照自己天然的觀念。信徒的兒女應當領悟，他們要藉著與主是一來順從父母。再者，他們順從父母，不是憑自己的力量，乃是憑著主自己。他們的順從也是照著主的話，照著聖經。

保羅在二至三節繼續說，『「要孝敬父母，使你亨通，在世長壽。」這是第一條帶應許的誡命。』按照這誡命，亨通和長壽是神給尊敬父母之人今世的祝福。

尊敬與順從不同。順從指行為，尊敬指態度。兒女可能順從父母，卻不尊敬父母。要尊敬父母，需要一種尊敬的態度，尊敬的靈。作兒女的，都需要學習順從父母，同時也尊敬他們。

我們若要在世上活得長久，就需要孝敬父母。那些不孝敬父母的人，實際上他們在縮短自己在世上的生命。你若希望延長年日，得享福樂，就要學習順從父母，同時也孝敬他們。在聖經裡這是惟一得享長壽的條件。誰想要活得長久，就需要履行這個條件。(摘自『以弗所書生命讀經』第六十二篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/

(2) Proper Use of Culture

The book of Colossians reveals that the all-inclusive Christ should replace every element and aspect of our natural human life. Humanly speaking, culture is very good. Every society is preserved and maintained by culture. If people did not have culture, there would be much more work for the police department and the law courts. At present, the work of the police and the courts is a supplement to the culture of a society. When a person does not conduct himself properly according to culture, the police may intervene. Every nation, society, and community is preserved by culture, the law, and the police.

If, after reading these messages on Christ versus culture, Christian parents tell their children that they no longer need culture, this will be a serious mistake. Without culture, children would act like animals. Children must be raised according to the standards of culture. Before they are of a proper age to receive Christ, the children must be built up in culture. The more the children are trained according to culture, the better it will be for them. The children must be trained to honor their parents, to love their brothers and sisters, to behave properly toward their neighbors, to be good students in school, to obey all laws, and to respect their teachers and other adults. Because children are too young to behave according to Christ, they must be taught to behave according to culture. If we did not have culture, we would be barbarians.

The use of culture can be compared to the function of the law in the Scriptures. The law was decreed by God. Romans 7:12 says that "the law is holy, and the commandment holy and just and good." Used rightly, the law kept God's chosen people in custody until the coming of Christ. Rich families in ancient times had custodians who exercised custody over the children. Although culture is right and necessary, it is also subject to misuse and can actually keep people from Christ. Culture should be used to keep the children until they are able to receive Christ and live according to Christ. Children need to be preserved by culture while they are growing up.

As Moses gave the commandments to God's chosen people, parents must give commandments to their children. But when the children are able to realize their need for Christ and repent, we should minister the rich Christ to them and help them to receive Him. We should tell our children that the culture we gave them was only good for a certain time and that now they need to receive Christ. Hence, culture is used by God through parents to keep their children in custody until the time comes for them to receive the Lord. It is important to see this proper use of culture. (Life-Study of Colossians, Message #49) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

文化的正當用途

歌羅西書啟示這位包羅萬有的基督，應當頂替我們天然人生活的一切元素。就著人來說，文化非常好，每一個社會都是藉著文化而蒙保守並得以維持的。人如果沒有文化，警察局和法庭的工作就要多得多了。目前，警察局和法庭的工作是補社會文化的不足。當人不照著文化正當行事時，警察就來干涉。每一個國家、社會、團體，都是藉著文化、法律、和警察而蒙保守的。

如果基督徒的父母讀到這些論到基督與文化相對的信息後，告訴他們的兒女說，他們不再需要文化了，這是一個嚴重的錯誤。沒有文化，小孩子的行為就會像禽獸一般。小孩子必須照著文化的標準來養育。他們在達到接受基督的適當年齡之前，必須先在文化上得著建立。小孩子越照著文化受訓練，對他們就越好。必須訓練小孩子孝敬父母，友愛兄弟姊妹，對鄰舍舉止合宜，在學校作好學生，遵守所有的法規，並且尊敬師長和長輩。因為小孩子太年幼，無法照著基督行事，所以他們必須受教導，照著文化行事。如果沒有文化，我們就會成為野蠻人。

文化的用途可以比作聖經裡律法的功用。律法是神頒佈的。羅馬七章十二節說，『律法是聖的，誡命也是聖的、義的並善的。』律法正確的作用，乃是看守神的選民，直等基督來到。文化雖然是正當且必需的，卻也容易被人誤用，而實際的使人離開基督。文化應當用來看守小孩子，直到他們能接受基督，並且照著基督而活。小孩子在成長的過程中，需要藉著文化得蒙保守。

摩西怎樣把誡命給了神的選民，作父母的照樣也必須把誡命給他們的兒女。但到了兒女能體會他們需要基督並且悔改的時候，我們就該把豐富的基督供應給他們，並且幫助他們接受基督。我們應當告訴兒女，我們所給他們的文化，只適用到某個時期，如今他們需要接受基督。因此，神藉著父母用文化來看守兒女，直到他們接受主的時候來到。看見文化這種正當的用途是很重要的。(摘自『歌羅西書生命讀經』第四十九篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/

(3) No anger provoking

Ephesians 6:4 - And the fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

Provoking to anger damages the children by stirring up their flesh. It is always destructive for parents to be angry with their children. For this reason, I counsel the parents not to lose their temper when dealing with their children. Not provoking the children's anger requires the fathers' anger to be dealt with by remaining under the cross. The only way we can keep from losing our temper is to stay on the cross. In dealing with your children's wrongdoings or misbehavior, you must firstly go to the cross and stay there. Otherwise, you will lose your temper, and this loss of temper will provoke your children's anger.

Instead of provoking the children to anger, the fathers are to nurture them in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. To nurture children means to bring them up, to raise them, by nourishing them. Raising children requires that the parents give them the needed instruction related to human life, family life, and social life. The word admonition here includes instruction. Paul was probably referring to the Old Testament requirement that parents instruct their children with the word of God (Deut. 6:7). This means that we are to teach our children with the Bible. Along with this instruction, we sometimes must discipline them, chastise them. It is crucial that parents learn to nurture the children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

As parents, we should not only teach them, but also set up an example for them to follow. Just as the Lord Jesus sanctified Himself for the sake of His disciples (John 17:19), so parents should sanctify themselves for the sake of their children. Those who do not have children may be free to do certain things, such as sleep late in the morning. But those with children do not have the liberty to do these things. For the sake of their children, they must be restricted. Children always imitate their parents. Therefore, it is the parents' responsibility to set up a high standard and a proper pattern and example for their children to follow. (Life-Study of Ephesians, Message #62) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

不要惹兒女的氣
父親的，不要惹你們兒女的氣，只要用主的管教和警戒養育他們。(以弗所書6:4)
惹氣會挑動兒女的肉體，而傷害他們。父母生兒女的氣總是有害的。為這緣故，我勸作父母的在對付兒女時不要發脾氣。不惹兒女的氣，需要作父親的對付自己的怒氣，把怒氣留在十字架上。如此，纔能給兒女合宜的管教。我們要保守自己不發脾氣，惟一的路就是留在十字架上。在對付你兒女的過錯或過失時，你必須首先上十字架並留在那裡，否則你會發脾氣，這樣發脾氣會惹兒女的氣。

作父親的不要惹兒女的氣，反倒要用主的管教和警戒養育他們。養育兒女，意思是藉著保養來栽培他們，撫育他們。撫育兒女需要父母給他們有關為人生活、家庭生活、和社會生活所需的指導。這裡警戒一辭包括教導。保羅可能是指舊約的要求：作父母的，該用神的話教導他們的兒女。（申六6～7）這意思是說，我們要教導我們的兒女認識聖經。在這教導之外，我們有時也必須管教他們、懲治他們。父母學習用主的管教和警戒養育兒女，是十分緊要的。

我們作父母的，對我們的兒女必須盡我們的責任。這意思是說，我們不該只教導他們，也該立榜樣給他們跟從。正如主耶穌為門徒的緣故聖別自己，（約十七19） 父母也該為兒女的緣故聖別自己。沒有兒女的人，也許有自由作一些事，譬如早上很晚纔起床。但是那些有兒女的，就沒有自由這麼作。為著孩子的緣故，他們必須受約束。孩子總是模倣父母。所以，父母有責任設立高的標準、以及正確的模型和榜樣，給兒女們跟從。(摘自『以弗所書生命讀經』第六十二篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/

(4) Our Father's discipline

Hebrews 12: 5 says, "And you have completely forgotten the exhortation which reasons with you as with sons, My son, do not make light of the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when reproved by Him." The word discipline in this verse points to some kind of punishment. Verse 6 continues, "For whom the Lord loves He disciplines and scourges every son whom He receives." To scourge here means to whip. Most of us received some kind of scourging from our parents when we were children. In like manner, our Father scourges His children.

Verse 7 says, "It is for discipline that you are enduring; God is dealing with you as with sons; for what son is there whom the father does not discipline?" A father will scourge his own children, not the children on the street. For God to scourge us does not mean that we lose our eternal security. The more a child is disciplined by his parents, the more secure he is. Verse 8 says that "if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are bastards and not sons." I am afraid that if God the Father would not discipline me, it would mean that I am a bastard, not a son.

Verse 9 says that "we have had the fathers of our flesh as discipliners and we respected them; shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?" Being in subjection to the Father of spirits gives us more life. Verse 10 says, "For they indeed disciplined us for a few days as it seemed good to them, but He for our profit that we might partake of His holiness." To partake of His holiness means to partake of His holy nature. This implies the growth in life. The discipline that we receive of our Father helps us to grow. (Life-Study of Hebrews, Message #24) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

父的管教
希伯來十二章五節說，『你們竟全然忘了那勸勉的話，就是對你們如同對兒子所講論的，說，『我兒，你不可輕看主的管教，被祂責備的時候，也不可灰心。』』這裡的『管教』是指著某種的懲罰。六節說，『因為主所愛的，祂必管教，又鞭打凡所收納的兒子。』我們許多人小時候都被父母打過。照樣，我們的父也鞭打祂的兒女。

七節說，『為了受管教，你們要忍受。神待你們如同待兒子；那有兒子是父親不管教的？』父親鞭打的是自己的孩子，而不是街上的孩子。神鞭打我們，不是說我們失去了永遠的穩妥。一個越受管教的孩子，就越穩妥。八節說，『只是你們若不受眾子所共受的管教，就是私生子，不是兒子了。』若是父神不管教我，我恐怕就是私生子，不是兒子了。

九節說，『再者，我們曾有肉身的父管教我們，我們尚且敬重他們，何況萬靈的父，我們豈不更當服從祂而得活著麼？』服從萬靈的父，乃是叫我們得著更多的生命。十節說，『肉身的父是在短暫的日子裡，照自己以為好的管教我們，惟有萬靈的父管教我們，是為了我們的益處，使我們有分於祂的聖別。』有分於祂的聖別，就是有分於祂聖別的性情。這含示生命的長大；我們從父所受的管教，要幫助我們長大。(摘自『希伯來書生命讀經』第二十四篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/

(5) Forbearance of Christ

There is a great need of forbearance in our family life. A good family life is the product of forbearance. If a husband and wife show forbearance toward each other and toward their children, they will have an excellent married life and family life. However, if they do not exercise forbearance, they will seriously damage their life together as a family.

In dealing with their children, parents should be neither too strict nor too tolerant. Both excessive strictness and excessive tolerance are damaging to children. Then what is the right way for parents to care for their children? The right way is the way which is full of forbearance.
Suppose a child does something wrong, and the matter is made known to his father. He should not rebuke his child in a hasty way or spank him in anger. In Ephesians 6 Paul tells us not to provoke our children. Usually parents provoke their children by dealing with them in anger. If you are angry with your child, you first need to ask the Lord to take away your anger. Once your anger has been dealt with by the Lord, you need to exercise your understanding to realize why the child made that particular mistake. No doubt, the child was wrong. Nevertheless, you still must understand his situation. Perhaps he was wrong because you were careless. If you had not been careless in that particular way, the child would not have made that mistake. Because your carelessness afforded him the opportunity to do something wrong, you should not put the full blame on him. Rather, first you must blame yourself and then discipline the child. All this is included in exercising forbearance toward our children.

Parents need to exercise wisdom in speaking to their children. A child may need correction, but the parents need to sense when is the right time to speak to him. A father should ask himself whether or not he should rebuke his child in front of other children or even in front of the mother. Sometimes it is not wise to discipline a child in the presence of others. How much wisdom we must exercise in caring for our children! If we do not have forbearance, we shall not exercise wisdom.

If we would show forbearance, we also need patience. Most parents find it difficult to be patient when they are disciplining their children. Suppose a brother is about to rebuke one of his children. It would be much better if he waited a few hours before saying anything. However, it is extremely difficult to wait even a few minutes, much less a few hours. The natural tendency is to deal with the children in haste. Such impatience is damaging. (Taken from the Life-Study of Philippians, Message #58) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

在我們的家庭生活中需要謙讓宜人

我們在家庭生活中極其需要謙讓宜人。美好的家庭生活乃是從謙讓宜人產生出來的。夫妻若彼此顯出謙讓宜人，也對兒女顯出謙讓宜人，就會有最美滿的婚姻生活和家庭生活。但他們若不謙讓宜人，就會嚴重的破壞他們共同的家庭生活。

父母對待兒女不該太嚴厲，但也不該太縱容。過度的嚴厲與縱容都會傷害孩子。那麼，作父母的要如何照管兒女纔正確？正確的路就是滿了謙讓宜人。假如一個孩子作錯事，父親知道了，他不該火急的去責備孩子，也不該在怒氣中責打他。保羅在以弗所六4吩咐我們，不要惹兒女的氣。父母通常因著在怒氣中對付兒女，而惹了兒女的氣。你若生孩子的氣，首先必須求主除去你的怒氣。一旦你的怒氣被主對付，你就必須用悟性來了解，孩子為甚麼犯了那個錯誤。毫無疑問，孩子是錯了。然而，你還必須了解他的處境。他犯錯也許是因著你的粗心大意；要不是你在那特別的一面粗心，孩子也不會犯那個錯。乃是因著你的大意，使他有機會作錯事，所以你不該完全責怪他，反該先責備自己，然後再管教孩子。這些都包括在以謙讓宜人對待孩子這事裡。

父母對兒女說話需要運用智慧。也許孩子需要改正，但是父母一定要摸摸感覺，甚麼時候說纔合式。作父親的應當先問自己，該不該當著其他孩子的面，甚至當著母親的面責備孩子。有時候當著別人的面管教孩子是不智的。我們照管孩子需要多少的智慧！我們若沒有謙讓宜人，就不會有智慧。

我們要顯出謙讓宜人，也需要忍耐。大部分的父母管教兒女時不容易忍耐。如果一位弟兄要責備自己的孩子，他若等幾小時再說話，情況就會好得多。但是，連等幾分鐘都十分困難，更不用說等幾小時了。我們天然的傾向就是要火急的對付孩子。這麼無法忍耐是會傷害人的。(摘自『腓立比書生命讀經』第五十八篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/

(6) God's Forbearance

The Bible reveals that in His economy God has exercised great forbearance. Immediately after the fall of man, God began to show forbearance in His dealings with man. If you read Genesis 3 from the viewpoint of forbearance, you will see how forbearing God was with fallen man. God exercised His understanding, fully realizing man's situation and need. He also exercised His wisdom to deal with fallen man. For the accomplishment of His eternal purpose, for the carrying out of His economy, God has always exercised forbearance. With His forbearance, He has understanding, wisdom, mercy, kindness, love, and grace. Even the rich supply of life is included in God's forbearance. God never commands us to do anything without considering our need and granting us His supply. If a parent charges his children to do a certain task but does not supply them with what they need, that parent is not forbearing. Forbearance always includes the adequate supply to meet the need.

The Bible reveals that God exercises forbearance in carrying out His economy. If God had dealt with fallen man in the way we deal with others, there would have been no way for Him to fulfill His purpose. But God has made His forbearance known to all men. Thus, God Himself set up an example, a pattern, of forbearance, making known His forbearance to men throughout all generations. God makes known His forbearance by dealing with us in a way that is reasonable, suitable, and considerate. God never disciplines anyone without proper consideration. He often waits a long period of time before chastising someone. If you read of Israel's journey in the wilderness, you will see that God truly was forbearing toward them. God has also been forbearing with us. He has dealt with us like a wise and loving father, full of forbearance.

In Philippians 3:15 Paul says, "Let us therefore, as many as are full-grown, have this mind." We have pointed out that to have this mind is to have the mind to live Christ and pursue Him. However, the very Christ whom we live and pursue should be expressed as forbearance. If we put together these verses from chapters three and four, we see that forbearance requires maturity. Without growth and maturity it will be extremely difficult to make known our forbearance.

In a family the parents must first be forbearing and thereby set up an example of forbearance for the children to follow. If a brother is not forbearing toward his wife and children, he should not expect his children to know what forbearance is. Instead of commanding others to be forbearing, he himself should establish a pattern of forbearance for his children to follow. As we have indicated, to have such forbearance requires maturity. (Taken from the Life-Study of Philippians, Message #58) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

神的謙讓宜人

聖經啟示，在神的經綸裡，祂運用了極大的謙讓宜人。人墮落以後，神立刻在對付人的事上開始顯出謙讓宜人。我們若從謙讓宜人的觀點來讀創世記三章，就會看見，神對墮落的人是何等的謙讓宜人。一面，神完全了解、知道人的處境和需要；另一面，祂也用智慧來對待墮落的人。神為要完成祂永遠的定旨，為要執行祂的經綸，祂一直是謙讓宜人的。祂的謙讓宜人還帶著了解、智慧、憐憫、恩慈、愛和恩典。甚至生命豐富的供應也包含在神的謙讓宜人裡。神從來不會命令我們作甚麼事，而不顧我們的需要，或不將祂的供應賜給我們。作父母的如果吩咐兒女作一項工作，卻不供應他們所需要的，這就不是謙讓宜人。謙讓宜人總是包括充足的供應，以應付需要。

聖經啟示，神執行祂的經綸時是謙讓宜人的。倘若神以我們對待別人的方式來對待墮落的人，祂就無法完成祂的定旨。神如今已經叫眾人知道祂的謙讓宜人。祂親自設立一個謙讓宜人的例子、榜樣，好叫歷代的人都知道祂的謙讓宜人。神以合理、合宜、且體諒我們的方式來對待我們，便叫人知道祂的謙讓宜人。神從來沒有不深思熟慮就管教人。祂常常是等候了多時纔懲治人。你讀到以色列人在曠野的旅程，就會看見神對他們真是謙讓宜人。神對我們也一直是謙讓宜人的。祂像一位智慧且慈愛的父親，滿了謙讓宜人的來對待我們。

保羅在腓立比書三章十五節說，『所以我們凡是長成的人，都要思念這事。』我們曾指出，思念這事就是思念活基督並竭力追求基督。然而，我們所活並竭力追求的基督，應當以謙讓宜人彰顯出來。我們若將三章和四章這些經節擺在一起，就會看見，謙讓宜人需要成熟。我們若不長大，也不成熟，要叫人知道我們的謙讓宜人就十分困難。

在一個家庭裡，父母必須先謙讓宜人，藉此設立榜樣，使兒女可以效法。弟兄若對妻子、兒女不謙讓宜人，他就不該奢望兒女會知道甚麼是謙讓宜人。他不該命令別人謙讓宜人，自己反該先建立謙讓宜人的榜樣，給兒女效法。正如我們所指明的，要有這樣的謙讓宜人需要成熟。(摘自『腓立比書生命讀經』第五十八篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/

(7) Comforting the hearts

In presenting others full-grown in Christ we need to follow the principle set up in Genesis 2: Man tills the ground, and God sends the rain (v. 5). On the one hand, we must till the ground. On the other hand, only God can send the rain. As we trust in God and look to Him for the rain, we should be faithful in our responsibility to till the ground. This means that we must fulfill the principle ordained by God. If we depend only on our work of tilling the ground and do not trust in the Lord to send the rain, we are wrong. But we are also wrong if we only pray to the Lord for rain and do not fulfill our responsibility to till the ground. Applying this principle to the matter of presenting every man full-grown in Christ, we see that we should not merely pray, but also labor according to Christ's operation.

In Colossians 2:1 Paul says, "For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you, and for those in Laodicea, and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh." This verse indicates that Paul was struggling, agonizing, wrestling, to see a particular matter accomplished among the Colossians and Laodiceans. Verse 2 shows the object of Paul's struggle: "That their hearts may be comforted, being knit together in love and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, unto the full knowledge of the mystery of God, Christ."

If their hearts were cared for in a proper way, the saints would have the riches of the full assurance of understanding. Their minds would once again function normally to understand spiritual things. When our hearts are comforted, our minds will function properly. But if there is a problem in our heart, there will be a problem in our mind also. The heart regulates the mind. Whether the mind is normal or abnormal depends on the condition of the heart. (taken from Life Study of Colossians, Message #17) http://ministrybooks.org/life-studies.cfm

竭力奮鬥，要叫人的心得安慰

要將人在基督裡成熟的獻上，我們需遵行創世記二5所立的原則：人耕地，神降雨。一面，我們必須耕地；另一面，只有神能降雨。當我們信靠神並仰望祂降雨時，我們應當忠信的盡責耕地。這意思是說，我們必須履行神所命定的原則。如果我們只倚靠自己耕地，不信神降雨，我們就錯了。但如果我們只求神降雨，卻不盡自己的責任去耕地，我們也一樣錯了。我們把這個原則應用於將人在基督裡成熟的獻上這件事，我們就看見，我們不只該禱告，也該照著基督的運行，竭力奮鬥。

保羅在歌羅西二章一節說，『我願意你們曉得，我為你們和那些在老底嘉，甚至所有在肉身上沒有見過我面的人，是何等竭力奮鬥。』這節指明，保羅所以竭力奮鬥、受苦、爭戰，是要看到在歌羅西人和老底嘉人中間成就一件特別的事。二節說到保羅竭力奮鬥的目標：『要叫他們的心得安慰，在愛裡結合一起，以致豐豐富富的在悟性上有充分的確信，能以完全認識神的奧祕，就是基督。』

聖徒們的心若能得到合式的照顧，他們就能豐豐富富的在悟性上有充分的確信。他們的心思能彀再次正常的盡功用，認識屬靈的事。當我們的心得了安慰，我們的心思就正常的盡功用。然而我們的心一旦出了毛病，我們的心思也會出問題。心規正心思。我們的心思是否正常，全在於我們心的光景。(摘自『歌羅西書生命讀經』第十七篇) http://www.lsmchinese.org/